HOW CAN YOU EASE PAINFUL SEX SYMPTOMS?

Sexual pain associated with the changes of menopause can often be easily and successfully treated.

Tune in with your body

If something hurts or doesn’t feel good, don’t force it or try to push through the pain. You need to love and respect your body, not self inflict pain.

Try a vulvar or vaginal moisturiser

These can help to increase moisture and the tissue quality of the vulvar and vaginal tissues. You can buy them without prescription, and your pharmacist will be able to advise on which products to try.

Lubrication!

Lube can help decrease pain during sex and can be applied as needed. Be aware that lubes and vaginal moisturisers work in different ways, so you may wish to try both.

Think outside the box

Sex can be so much more than just penetration. Try sexual activities such as touching, oral sex or mutual masturbation.

Increase foreplay

Although foreplay alone rarely cures painful sex in menopause, it may help you become more aroused and decrease your pain response.

Have sex with yourself

Just because you are having pain with sex does not mean that you don’t deserve to have pleasure. It is important to remind yourself that you can feel good in your body. Check out our sex toy guide here.

Communicate about sexual pain

 Sexual partners are not mind readers – so it is important to communicate about painful sex, particularly if some positions feel more painful and can be avoided. Avoiding positions that inflict pain can help teach your body not to anticipate pain with sex.

Improve your washing and grooming habits

Avoid soap, loofahs, douches or sprays to clean the vulva or vagina. These can actually dry out and irritate the tissues.

Take pain-relieving steps

To reduce pain on deep penetration, you can try something like the Ohnut rings to adjust the depth of penetration to what feels comfortable. Other preventative steps include taking a warm bath or painkiller prior to sex. After sex, apply an ice pack to the vulvar area.

See a doctor

If you have painful sex, you should always go to see a doctor for review. They will be able to help you work out what is causing the pain, and how best to treat it. Depending on the cause of your painful sex, seeing a sex therapist or pelvic floor physio may also be helpful. See your doctor urgently if you have any bleeding after sex, bleeding in between periods, sores on the vulva or vagina or any other symptoms which are worrying you.

Consider topical oestrogen

This comes in the form of creams, pessaries or rings and is applied directly to the vaginal area. This is an effective, low-risk form of HRT and is used to treat menopausal changes in the vagina and surrounding tissues which could be causing your pain. Speak to your doctor for further advice about this and other forms of HRT.

Quit smoking

Smoking can worsen dryness and contribute to painful sex.